Saturday, April 10, 2010

A Steam-Filled Mirror

I've often heard that the reoccuring phases of life are we are either in a storm, just coming out of one or about to enter one. The last few months I've felt like all three of these phases have at some point been applicable. Most recently I am in a different place. I'm realizing that I've been in a struggle....with me. This struggle has not been my typical, but a space I've not occupied much in my 30s. That may be why I didn't recognize it immediately. I've entered a zone of questioning myself. I've recently questioned my talents and abilities, my threshhold for the insignificant, and-dare I admit it- even my intelligence. I can't remember a time I've wondered if I'm smart enough to meet the challenges that face me. It's always been how I could make "it" happen, not if.

Now, I'm mentioning this NOT to get a pep talk. I know how great God is and I am convinced not of my own power or strength, but of Him working through me. What I do feel is an integral investigation is probing what would make someone question their abilities and skills? What has been given enough power to infiltrate and obliterate what is true about self? There is nothing wrong with self-reflection and pausing to make sure a healthy and realistic ego is maintained, but a steam-filled mirror should not be considered an accurate reflection.

I believe a steam-filled mirror is an excellent analogy for this concern. When temperatures rise, our reflection of who we really are becomes cloudy and distorted. We see who we are, but it's only the faint outline, the blurry structure not the strength in the build, the persistence of the heart and the phenominal mind. It's not until we wipe the mirror or change the atmosphere when we see our true selves. But no matter what obstruction or environment may impact my vision, I must remember it's still me. I may not see clearly, but it's still me.

Every now and then storms come. That's life. Times may heat up, but I can't make decisions using a steam-covered mirror. I am educated, talented, complex, tenacious, and strong. That stands on its own right and is no less true when compared to someone else's strengths. My abilities are not discounted by another's, and I am convinced He who has begun a good work IN me will carry it on to completion (Phil. 1:6). That alone is motive to attempt to keep my mirror clean.

By the way, steam-makers stay away!!!!





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